I am not complaining, but... I could use a few extra hours in a day. There's far too much going on lately; when are you supposed to have time to write about it?
I'll just toss out a few categories, in haiku form, because I'm pressed for time:
Electric car:
Zero emissions.
Ours - free - for the next two months.
Love driving around.
This thing is the coolest little car EVER. It's only been with us for one week and I'm already sad about us having to turn it in. Also, when I'm downtown sitting in beach traffic, I can't shake the thought, "You people are actually using *gas* to get around town?!?!"
Florida cousins:
Florida in town.
Four boys do lots of chasing.
Get them in the pool!
Everyone's just a little happier when the Florida cousins are in town, and this summer is no exception.
Family garage cleanout:
Forty years of stuff.
This calls for a big dumpster.
Get ready to sweat.
I can't speak much to the garage cleanout, because my job was primarily "keep the kids away," but the other grownups did serious manual labor All. Day. Long. and into the night to get it all cleaned out. It was a minor miracle of cooperation, sweat, and dust masks.
Italian festival:
Italian night.
You got a problem with that?
Tony makes bracciole.
This year for the big family meal we went native with an Italian theme. Tony cooked up a massive pot of "gravy" that simmered all afternoon long with meatballs, sausage and bracciole. Luke made his "special appetizer" - bread toasted with olive oil and rosemary. And of course we topped off the evening with our annual fireworks show.
Medieval Times:
Knights duel on horseback.
We eat chicken with no forks.
Now kids want to fight.
I really don't know how to elaborate on this except to say...what a surreal day. Dave and I went to a funeral before this (one of the moms from our school) so you can imagine what our mood was like going into it. And then we worked our way through an hour of rush-hour traffic. And then - Medieval Times was amazingly fun. The kids were the perfect age to enjoy the show, and everyone seemed to have a good time. Zach gave it the ultimate praise: "This is better than the Deli, and the Farmhouse, and Fishbar."
We're sad our "green" knight didn't win, but I got a chance to take a picture with him afterwards, and either he's like, 7 feet tall, or I'm a midget. As Dave remarked, upon seeing this picture, "Humans come in many different sizes."
Do you remember last summer? The one where we moved abruptly, Dave had surgery for a double hernia, and Zach was either at the hospital or in a doctor's office every other day? And I gained 10 pounds? Yeah, that one. We didn't really *do* much of anything last summer because we were just trying to get through each day.
But we're starting to put that behind us now, and this summer we are...dare I say it?...starting to have some fun. I mean, we went to Bakersfield, for crying out loud - how much more fun does it get than that?
Also last week I celebrated an anniversary of sorts - the 15-year marker of the day I moved to California (thanks, Suzi and Bill, for the "anniversary" card, by the way). And it's funny because although I've seen some parts of California a lot (I'm looking at you, Palm Springs), there are many, many, many places that I still have left to see.
Last weekend we went to Fresno on a blogger trip I organized, with sponsorship from a few California farm advocacy groups. We had 5 bloggers and their families; 9 kids total. The farm folks absolutely outdid themselves with their hospitality: the hotel was nice, the meals were great, and the tour bus was amazing. Not only did the bus make it easy for the kids to hang out, walk around, etc. on the driving part of the tour; the farm folks made it as comfortable as possible by stocking the bus with massive coolers filled with every drink and snack known to man. So you can see why the four boys who were between ages 7 and 9 spent most of the trip huddled in the back of the bus talking about the merits of sodas vs. sports drinks, and so on.
Trip highlight: Luke won the contest to find and pick the biggest blueberry at the berry farm.
All told, we went to three farms and one (olive oil) factory. It was hot - like 100 degrees hot. And we did a lot of walking and so forth. So even though the kids love picking fruit more than just about anything, I kind of understood Zach's response when I asked him if he wanted to go pick some peaches at one more farm before we drove home: "No, I'm good."
Yesterday I was invited to a party/premiere of "The Odd Life of Timothy Green," to which I brought Luke and his best pal Blake. Even though the party was at a super-hot park (what can I say; we are spoiled at the beach and we can't handle the heat), the boys enjoyed the tug-of-war and the sack races. Then they enjoyed the air-conditioned bus ride to the movie even more (what is it with us and tour buses this week?). Then they were both absolutely tickled by all of the crazy characters walking the streets in Hollywood, and they can't wait to go back and see the "Museum of Death."
What they didn't care about was the fact that we got to meet Jennifer Garner, the star of the movie. And they totally missed the fact that to get in to the movie (at the historic Grauman's Chinese Theater) we actually walked past the milling crowds, behind the ropes, and down a green carpet (Timothy Green, get it?) with paparrazzi shooting pictures of us. (They shouted, "Who are you wearing?" and I yelled back, "Gap and Old Navy!") All they knew is that we were going to a movie. And all I could do was grin a big goofy grin, because this was definitely one quintessential California activity that I hadn't done before.
The boys' schedules are a mess this summer; Luke is doing beach camp Tues-Thurs mornings and Zach is doing the same beach camp on M-W-F afternoons so that he can be with two of his best pals (and now a third buddy whom he met at the camp). Yesterday he and his new pal won a sand castle contest, building something that the counselors called, "absolutely amazing." I am completely flummoxed, however, by the prize they got for winning the contest: Bubble gum. "What did you do with your bubble gum?" I asked him. He shrugged. "I threw it in the trash can." Fortunately, as part of the swag from the movie event, they had given us these Olympic-style medals from the field games - so I made a big presentation of giving one to him, and he wore it proudly for the next two days.
I have one other big event coming up this week; a behind-the-scenes tour of Dodger Stadium for food bloggers. This one's a real California first for me, although it's a cruel irony that it's me doing it and not Dave. And I don't really eat Dodger dogs. But I understand it's one of those true Angeleno experiences, so I might just have to, you know, take one for the team.
I'm about to say something that no one from a major metropolitan area has ever said before: [dramatic pause] [clears throat] I love Bakersfield.
I don't know what it is about this dusty cow-town, but every time Dave and I go there, we have a great time. We enjoy ourselves the whole time we're there, and we leave smiling. Is it the scintillating activities? No. Is it the beautiful surroundings? No. Is it the pleasing temperatures? No, no, and no. Is it that we're treated like visiting royalty every time we arrive? Well, OK, maybe.
Part of it has to be Unk's friend Father Craig. Someone needs to write a book about the fascinating character that is Craig. He is like no priest you have ever met before. To sum up: He has lived through unspeakable tragedies in his life; he ministers to some of the poorest immigrant farmworking families in the state; he has adopted and raised eight kids from harrowing circumstances who have since gone on to live successful and productive lives; and he is just so darned funny. You can sit there listening to him for hours and your sides will split from laughing. Dave and I were trying to think of a single word to describe his personality and we came up with, "winsome," "infectious," "magnetic."
When we were in Las Vegas, Luke became fascinated with gambling (and me losing money) so he asked me if anyone ever won at gambling. "Yes," I told him, "Father Craig. Let's remember to ask him about it when we see him."
Craig has this very odd personality quirk where he is the luckiest person ever in gambling. When Luke asked him about it, he told us this story that seemed almost like a tall tale, except it happened to Craig so you knew it had to be true: "A few months ago I went to a casino with some friends but I didn't feel like gambling that night. But we were all sitting at dinner and my name was drawn in some kind of drawing where you go up in front and they give you a ball and put it in a wheel and you get the prize that it lands on. The ball landed on a slot that won $5,000. My friends were sad because they hadn't won anything, so I gave them each $500. Then they were bugging me to gamble with them, so finally as we were leaving for the night, I put $20 in a slot machine. The max bet was $3, so I bet $3...nothing. $3...nothing. $3....nothing. $3...and then I won $10,000. Then I was sitting there waiting for them to process the money, because it takes a while to do all the paperwork, so I slid over to the slot machine next to it and I won $20,000. I didn't even want to gamble that night and I won $35,000!"
Then just as we're processing this whole story and laughing about it, he finishes with the kicker, "Oh, and the next night I was at one of those raffles for a benefit and I won a 1965 Thunderbird."
You could hate him for it, but he's so gosh-darned earnest and sweet about it, and he gives it all away, so you just have to shake your head in disbelief. My theory is that it comes easier to him because money just doesn't seem to matter to him at all.
Another Bakersfield highlight on this visit was a Mexican restaurant called Las Mulcajetes that specializes in a dish called (what else) a mulcajete. Basically it is a massive cauldron filled with every imaginable kind of meat and fish, along with cheese, chili peppers, cactus, onions, and cilantro, all in this spicy, tomato-y broth. And it's heated to 320 degrees, so when they deliver it to your table, it is bubbling, and it keeps bubbling for the next 20 to 25 minutes. (You have to eat it by spooning out little portions on your plate and waiting for it to cool.) It is honestly the most frightening, dangerous, and delicious thing I have ever eaten. I am thinking about going on a week-long fast before I head to Bakersfield next time so that I have enough room to make it to the bottom of a mulcajete.
Also on our Bakersfield agenda this time was a tour of a massive dairy farm, thanks to Craig's connections, as part of the farm/factory project I'm working on for Jolly Tomato. One of the biggest thrills for all of us was seeing this newborn calf (one hour old) learning to stand for the first time. We watched as it struggled to raise itself up, faltered, raised itself up again, and finally triumphed on its spindly, wobbly legs.
Last, this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Bakersfield, but it's a recurring theme of our summer so I'm just going to throw it in here: In addition to being the summer of farm tours, this is going to be the summer of Minecraft. Minecraft is a video game that involves building villages and destroying zombies (don't ask). It's nice because it's sort of creative and the boys like to do it together. But it's annoying because it's all Zach wants to talk about in his off time. ("There was this one time? In Minecraft?")
Apparently lots of other people like Minecraft too because there's a whole little cottage industry of Minecraft parody videos, where kids sing songs about Minecraft to the tune of other popular songs. Yes, this really is a thing. Zach will demonstrate now:
