Just trying to get the motivation back to post again. I guess I don't need to say this but after my long, drawn-out period of extreme hunger and tiredness and no period, it turned out I was not pregnant after all. I guess I had just jumped ahead and made way too many plans and had way too many expectations. Sad but nuff said. The upside is that it does give me more time to focus on the L-word, hahahahahahaha, that is to say Luke. He has had so much amazing development in his speaking and recognition that I want to write it down so I remember it. Like today at the supermarket checkout when he made everyone laugh by pointing at the change machine and saying, clear as a bell, "Money!" Or when Dave was putting him to sleep and started singing "Go to sleep, go to sleep, my sweet baby Luu-uuuke" and Luke bolted upright and said "No, no - mama!" (that's my song!)
Stopping nursing has been a big rough spot for me. If Luke were competely uninterested, or even marginally uninterested, I think I'd be able to distract him out of it. But he seems to need it and flip out if I don't let him, so it's really hard to draw the line between 'am I just spoiling him by giving in' and 'I just need to give him what he needs'. I have started throwing mental darts at all of the people in society who look down on this. If it weren't for trying to get pregnant I would just keep nursing until whenever, society be damned.
Nice note to end on, right? It's a beautiful Friday night, delightfully chilly, and Dave is putting Luke to sleep. Soon he'll be downstairs (that is, Dave) (I hope) and we'll curl up and watch a movie, and talk about how when you get down to it, life is really good right now.
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