Inside the village

I recently heard about this thing called "vacation" where you "relax" and have "time without kids." I don't know what that is, but if anyone has experienced it, I would like to learn more. Right now it seems about as likely as flying away on a unicorn.

As Dave continues his 24/7 work schedule (clients in London AND Hong Kong), my summer is mostly about nonstop kid planning, maintenance, and taxi driving. Fortunately for us (but not so much for our bank accounts) we have an A-list "village" of helpers.

As always, Lauren heads up the A-team. She is our all-star, never-fail, completely trusted Tuesday/Thursday babysitter. She was a Division 1 All-American soccer player who is never fatigued by two boys; she is totally happy to run alongside them when they ride bikes or scooters. The boys love to play with her dogs, go swimming at her house, and visit her grandparents who live on a horse ranch at the edge of a canyon. Here's how much she adores Zach: She saved her license plate registration sticker so that Zach could put it on himself, because she knew it would be the highlight of his week (it was). We are dreading the day next spring when she moves to Northern California and gets married, but we'll definitely have a super-cool person to visit.

Our trusted babysitter Rose is another one we are holding close while we can; she is a college undergrad who works for us in summers and on breaks. Rose is our go-to source for anything having to do with films or books; she's been known to talk to Luke for hours about Harry Potter and Hunger Games. Rose is also a cat lover who volunteered (!) to come over and stay with Kaya on the 4th of July while we were gone just to make sure she was OK with the fireworks. Again, a keeper.

Madison is our young up-and-comer; she finished high school on her own after moving here last year with her family. She has an amazing sense of humor, a delightful sense of mischief, and an unflappable cool about her that makes her seem older than her years. Needless to say, the boys adore her and ask for her often.

Kiara only babysat for us a handful of times but I'm mentioning her because I still consider her part of the team: She is a college student who was Zach's counselor at beach camp last year and she kept telling us how much she loved him, so we asked her to babysit several times last summer. This summer, when we first pulled up at beach camp, she was beside herself with excitement: "Zach!!!! I'm so happy you're back! I was just telling the other counselors that I was hoping we would see you this year!" So, yeah, whenever your kid generates that kind of enthusiasm in someone, you want them around.

Zach also has his own "team" this summer; his counselors who work with him on social, speech, and physical skills all day long from 8 am to 5pm. We have to have an adult at home the whole time that they are there, so it's not much of a break in it for us, but it relieves some of the pressure of having to come up with activities.

Pat, the lead counselor, is the guy that every kid wants to hang around with: He's athletic, funny, comes up with crazy games, and (we love this part) doesn't put up with bad behavior. He literally gets his feet wet with Zach every week at beach camp, at the waterslides and pools at day camp, and during water gun battles in our backyard.

Sharie is our M/F morning counselor who has Zach whipped into shape - He's dressed with teeth brushed and bed made before he leaves the house in the morning, and somehow he thinks she's hilarious.

Jac has the rough job of being the late afternoon counselor who arrives just as Zach has had his fill of work for the day. ("These babysitters are all RUINING my plans for the DAY!" he griped when she arrived last week at the end of a particularly long day.) Jac is focusing on social niceties and she has her fake sneeze down to a science (to make sure he "God Bless-es" her). Yesterday I overheard a priceless dialogue as Jac was trying explain to Zach and his little friend why it was important to excuse yourself after you pass gas...much to their amusement and complete obliviousness.

And last but not least, Luke has two coaches: Pete for baseball, and Grant for surfing. Yes, our kids need a surf coach. Considering how much one-on-one time Zach gets, it's only fair for Luke to have at least one guy to look up to. And both Pete, a late-20s character with a thick Brooklyn accent, and Grant, a recent high school grad who is headed off to college in the fall, are "good people."

Now the problem is that even with all of these team members, we still have to get the kids where they need to go. So that's why, in one 24-hour period yesterday, I put 120 miles on my car. That was driving to Zach's camp, driving to work, driving back to pick Zach up, driving home, and then driving to pick Luke up from film camp (which he loves, by the way - "Best. Camp. Ever.")

Will we ever have kid-free time? This morning I told them how much I would miss them when they are both in college. "Don't worry, Mom, I'm going to come and visit you a lot," Zach assured me. "And when I get out of college I'm going to live...on top of you."

50

Fifty years of anything is a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but 50 years of marriage? Talk about a rare combination of love, commitment, and luck.

We had the good fortune this weekend of celebrating Dave's parent's 50th anniversary, and it was everything we had hoped it would be: a brilliant day of family and memories.



The whole gang



What I had hoped to say, although I probably said so inelegantly at the party, is that I'm grateful to Dave's parents for setting a lifelong example of what it means to nurture a marriage day in and day out. Their example to us is that it's not about the grandiose gestures, it's about the little things.

And here I'll get even more inelegant and go off on a tangent to talk about gasoline. As a Jersey girl, I've never loved pumping my own gas. When I first met Dave, not only would he fill up my tank for me, but he would carefully and precisely clean off each window with the squeegee until my windshield was cleaner than I ever would have kept it. Earlier this week, the boys and I had to drive somewhere, but Dave rode in the car with us to the gas station around the corner so that he could fill up my tank for me before we drove away. "Boys," he told Luke and Zach, "When you're married, you'll need to remember that the secret is to do nice little things for each other, and then that makes you keep wanting to do more nice little things for each other." And sooner or later, you've made it through 50 years...

OK, back to the program:

Tony, Dave, and Suzi consulting on the toast

The siblings reminisce and lead a toast to their parents

One amazing thing about the party was that there were two people there (Suzi and Jerry) who had been at the wedding 50 years ago, and there were plenty of friends who have been in Bobbie and Dick's lives for 40 years or more. On the video screen they played a steady loop of old Super-8 movies and you'd hear a chorus of recognition through the crowd every time a familiar face appeared on the screen.

Someone in this picture is tired of posing for the camera

Is it possible for the kids to begin to wrap their minds around how lucky they are to be able to celebrate this milestone with family all around? In a word, no. They just know they're having fun. (Huge thanks to Jerry, a.k.a. Cuz, for all of the extra pictures!)

Phone-tertainment

Buncha bros

Three ladies

Golden glow (OK, Instagram filter)

Day of the Did

School's out, summer's in...and if you followed my Instagram, you'd think all I do is hang out at hotels and go out to sumptuous dinners. That's only partly true. Yes, we did drive 200 miles round-trip to Bakersfield just for our annual molcajete fix. That, and to see Unk and Craig.

Dave and I starved ourselves all day so we'd be extra-hungry for Las Molcajetes, and when the massive steaming cauldrons of Mexican stew finally arrived at our table, they did not disappoint. Craig let us get about halfway through them before mentioning, "You know, people usually order those things to share..."

We did an overnight at the hotel in Bakersfield and the boys and I got our fill of swimming while Dave finalized a deal. This is sure to be the ongoing theme of the summer... the boys and I finding entertainment while Dave continues to work 24-7. The bad part: Less of Dave to enjoy. The good part: He is truly enjoying what he does, and he's good at it.

In yet another attempt to get the boys out of the house, I dragged them off to Watts Towers last weekend. One of our summer resolutions was to get out there because the boys had both studied them in art class this year. We thought we'd have the 11 am tour to ourselves, until a tour bus full of hipsters pulled up. My annoyance turned to disbelief, however, when I realized that it was in fact Mark Zuckerberg and 15 of his closest pals. I tried to play it cool, but I did some furtive whispering to Luke and I instructed him to take as many pictures as he felt like taking, and if he could possibly get that man in those pictures that would be cool too. 

There's me on the left with the striped skirt, and there's Mark Zuckerberg on the right taking a picture. Hey, come to think of it, maybe I'm in some of his pictures.

On Monday morning we packed up all of our coolest clothes (temperature-wise; I'm sure there were some fairly uncool clothes in the bunch) and jetted off to Las Vegas, or Lis Vigis as we call it in our house. Luke has this language that he started in which all vowels are replaced with a short "i". It sounds ridiculous to even write it down, but it's addicting and has become the standard pronunciation in our house. "Mom" is "Mim", Zach is "Zich", and Dad is "Did" - which is why Father's Day was known in our family as "Day of the Did."

So we rinted a cir and stayed at the "Vinitian," a.k.a. the Venetian (I am not kidding about this short-i thing) and braved the 115-degree heat for a week. "What did you do?!?" would be the incredulous question from most people I know. We swam in the lovely Roman-bath-style pools. We admired the lovely shops and artwork. We strolled through the "canals" and "St. Mark's Square."

...and finally on Tuesday we had a joyful reunion with Suzi and Bill and the Florida crew. Tuesday night was the best; we had great seats near the front of the Blue Man Group show and everyone - young and old - had a raucous and pants-splittingly good time. (Er, maybe I should only speak for myself on that.)

This is the wild and crazy finale where giant illuminated balls and streamers dropped down from the sky

Wednesday the "bigs" (older cousins) played paintball while the "littles" got their jollies at the children's museum. I can't speak for the paintball crowd, but apparently it was quite a workout with those head-to-toe jumpsuits and the lack of air conditioning in the paintball warehouse.

Thursday we headed out to the middle of nowhere in the desert (yes! voluntarily!) to visit a little abandoned mining town-slash-ghost town, where we got a fun history lesson and a very refreshing mine tour. While it was still in the 110's outside, it was a cool 64 degrees inside the mine.

Some of my Instagram photos; don't mind the stylized filters. I was trying to convey heat.

Oh, and that day also happened to be this little holiday known as the Fourth of July. It was quite an unusual day because it was the first day in at least seven months that we could think of that Dave was not working. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't have, because there was no phone service in the desert. But it was a very good thing. When we got back to Lis Vigis we celebrated with an afternoon comedy and magic show. The craziest trick: The guy ate his pet guinea pig... and then brought it out later. But I have no idea how he pretended to eat it.

Finally, we needed fireworks to close out the day. We caught this show from the Venetian balcony:

On the last day, (sob!) we met up with the cousins for our traditional last-day-of-Vegas brunch at Bellagio.

Danish at the Bellagio brunch

Then, stuffed like plump sausages, we headed over to the Stratosphere to see if the elevator there could possibly lift our over-stuffed selves up to the top of the tower (spoiler: it could). At the 108th floor (indoor observation tower) I was feeling a little woozy and Luke wasn't too much happier. But Dave and Zach, with their stomachs of iron, decided to head up one more level to the outdoor observation tower to snap a few pictures.

Long story short: Just after Dave and Zach came down, there was some lightning in the sky, which caused them first to close down the outdoor level, and then to close down the whole upper level as well. Fortunately we were already on our way back down at that point so we didn't get stuck in the whole enormous rush to get down from the tower. Lucky break? Let me tell you...

Zach is the coin-finder in our family. Everywhere he goes, he finds money. When we got to the airport this afternoon, he was extraordinarily proud of himself because he had found a total of 42 cents during the trip (which means he came out far ahead of me, after I lost money on the slots). He was bragging about this just as we passed the TSA team in the security line, and one of the agents overheard him and motioned for both boys to come over. "See these coins?" asked the agent. "People emptied these out of their pockets. But we can't keep the money. It'll go straight to Uncle Sam...unless you want it." Zach yelped with joy and gratefully accepted the additional 95 cents. Now that's what I call a jackpot. Or possibly a jickpit.

Breather

Last weekend Dave and I jumped the gun on vacation and took a pre-summer kid-free mini-break to Terranea. Enough said right there. But when the kids came and joined us the next morning, we got a chance to enjoy the whole hike/swim/oceanside experience together.

View from the room



You can just barely make out Dave waving from our balcony on the top floor, the non-covered balcony on the end.



Boys walking and holding hands what-what?



Zach just zips right down that slide



Dave made such an enormous splash the lifeguard had to stand up and mop himself off.

And my favorite, a video I call, "Was that slow?"

Looks like the end of the school year is coming in 3...2...1...Boom! What do we do now?

In motion/ stop motion

OK - Should I just start posting stuff without pictures/videos, or should I wait until I should get all forms of media coordinated? Because that might take a while.

Anyway, I had no idea it would be *this* easy to help Zach learn to ride a bike with no training wheels. I figured there'd be tears, protests, and frustration. But I asked our babysitter Lauren to help him with it one day after school while I was working. That afternoon, while I was sitting in my office, she texted me a video of Zach...riding around the backyard nonchalantly as if he'd done it his whole life. Well, OK then. That was easy. Now the boys just hang out and ride bikes. [Insert adorable bike-riding video here]

Luke most definitely did not like his baseball team, with many younger kids on it this year. But he did spend a lot of time on skill-building and he did have the opportunity to be a hero on more than one occasion. Dave and I were not able to stick around at Luke's team party after the last game, so we didn't get to hear what the coach had to say about him at the trophy presentation until Luke gave us the full report in the morning.
Dave: "So what did the coach say about you?"
Luke: "He said I started the season with a grand slam, and I ended it with a triple..."
Dave: "And then what else did he say?"
Luke, grinning: "You couldn't really hear because everyone started shouting, 'L-F! L-F! L-F!' and his words kind of got drowned out."

[Insert video of triple here]

I've been working with Zach on his big sea life report over the past three weeks. For some reason I thought his presentation was on Wednesday. But it turned out it was on Monday, and what unfolded was an extreme comedy of errors.

Dave had dropped us all off at school on Monday; I walked the kids to class and then the plan was for me to go for a long walk - which is why I didn't have my car or my phone with me. When I found out that the presentation was supposed to be that morning, I ran the one mile home (!), frantically slapped a few more pictures and words onto the posterboard, and grabbed the electric car to zip back to school by his 8:30 presentation time.

Meanwhile, Dave, emerging from the shower, somehow heard none of this... and came downstairs to find the front room looking nearly ransacked and the electric car gone. He figured there was no way I could have come home by then and taken the car... So, fearing the worst, he called the police to report the electric car stolen.

Meanwhile, as I was filming Zach's presentation, I got a series of frantic texts from Dave. "Do you have the car?" "I need to know ASAP to call off the police." Finally I stopped filming long enough to reply:

"Filming presentation. I have cat."

"*Car."

Dave says he had to give the police a physical description of me because if they had seen me in the "stolen" car they would have stopped me at gunpoint. Sheesh. Talk about starting your morning with a little adrenaline. And people wonder why I don't need coffee.

The highlight of Zach's presentation for me was when the teacher said, "So tell me a little bit about some of these pictures on your board." And Zach replied, "Well, my mom went out and bought some gray felt. And I traced the shape of the shark and cut it out and then glued it on the board. And the felt was only 39 cents."

[Insert video of Zach's presentation here]

What's that - you wanted pictures? OK, so, everyone gives me a hard time about playing Freecell. It's just a little mindless release I have. But I don't play it to win - (boring, because I know I can always win) - I play it to challenge myself to see how few moves I can make. I am proud to report that a few days ago I set a personal record, 65 moves to win, which put me on the international leaderboard as 8th best of all time in terms of fewest moves to complete a game. You can call me Queen of the Time-Killers.

Sky rockets in flight

What do you get when you combine a kid who loves explosions with a whole bunch of engineers with too much time on their hands? The annual rocket launch day at Boeing, of course. Zach built his soda-bottle rocket, filled it with water, and...BLAMMO! Off into the stratosphere. Well, at least into the air for a few seconds.

For Mother's Day, we did something a little different. Instead of driving to brunch in a, you know, regular car...we headed out in a limo. The fact that we were limo novices was readily apparent once Dave poured Zach a glass of ice water from the pitcher...and it turned out to be vodka. Happy Mother's Day indeed.

We came back down to earth and lived a somewhat normal life for a few days... and then got all gussied up again for the epic "Godfather" fundraiser on Saturday night. This was a glamorous Monte-Carlo-style bash at one of the biggest houses in town. What to wear...what to wear...I decided to represent New Jersey with a glittery top, lots of gold chains, and five-inch gold heels. (This pic is for my mom, who can't believe I walked around like this all night, and who wanted to make sure I let people know that I most certainly did not come from that part of New Jersey.)

When we walked in, we were surrounded by tuxedoed men, women dripping in fur and jewels, and this attractive (and surprisingly delicious) cake:

Dave was riding high at the blackjack table, but sadly we left before he could cash in his "winnings" (raffle tickets for a midnight drawing). But he did parlay at least one of his dinner conversations into gaining some new clients, so it was all good...

...Except for the lowest moment of my week, which came at 5:00 am the next morning. I jolted awake with a splitting champagne headache, and got hit with the sudden realization, "I'm throwing a party at the beach for 28 kids today." (cue long, slow sad trombone). I never was able to get back to sleep so my long day started early and painfully.

Zach had originally wanted his party to be a crystal hunt at the rocky beach. But I could never quite wrap my mind around the logistics of setting up a party there, so we had arranged the next best thing: a crystal hunt at our closest beach, with crystals that we would bury ourselves.

We set it up by creating a special crystal hunt area, marked off by Dave's "open house" flags, and some glittery mesh ribbon. The astonishing part about this whole crazy scheme is that it worked, beyond our wildest imagination. It actually functioned as a kid containment area on the beach, so all of the parents could hang out and relax because the kids only wanted to be in the crystal area.

Of course it helped that we had an enormous Mexican buffet (not pictured) set up right next to the crystal hunt, so everyone had a chance to chow down before going back for more. And it helped that we had the most beautiful afternoon of the year so far. And it helped that we had some extra hired hands to help with kid wrangling, setup, and cleanup. People stayed until well after 5 pm, and as we left, one of the moms gave me the most glowing compliment I could have asked for: "Best. Party. Ever."

And then, finally, I came back down to earth... and slept.

Rx

Our household has been through a lot of stresses in the past year, and we're constantly on the lookout for ways to make things a little kinder and gentler. Luke in particular has had a rough time. It's a shame that it's taken us until May to get a handle on things, but that's apparently how long it takes to  address problems around here.

Prescription #1: A cat.

This cat loves Luke more than anyone. I come in a close second; Dave's a close third, and Zach lags behind a short distance at fourth. (In fact, the other day Zach was rather circumspect about the whole thing after Kaya ran away from him: "Maybe I love Kaya a little bit too much.") But the bottom line is, Kaya loves Luke, Luke knows it, and it makes him proud and happy.

Prescription #2: A bike.

Luke hasn't been especially excited about bike-riding, and after we gave his old bike to Zach, Luke spent several months without a bike and didn't miss it at all. But this week I insisted that we get him a new bike, which we did, and it has the side benefit of being super-cool, with 21 gears and all of the bells and whistles (er, except no actual bells and whistles). When he had his old bike, he was still a little wobbly on it. But once he sat on this bike, he had every incentive to turn into a confident rider. After just two afternoons riding around at the school playground, he's a pro. When we ran into some friends of his, he proudly showed off his bike while riding in cool, laid-back circles. And the other day he actually complained about not wanting to do his homework because he wanted to ride his bike. That sounds like it would be a typical kid complaint, but it's truly a new one in our house.

Prescription #3: A bro.
Anyone who's been around our house on a weeknight knows that I am tired of being Luke's punching bag when he's frustrated with homework. What he really needed was someone who could inspire him to get his work done, and who would be someone Luke wouldn't want to dump on. Enter Trace, our 15-year-old savior. Trace, the son of a friend of mine, is a total gem of a kid who is a patient and inspiring homework pal. Trace has only been here twice but he's already made my life so much easier and Luke's life so much better that it feels like we've known him forever. He's going to come on Tuesdays/Thursdays and he'll work with Luke on homework for about 50 minutes, then shoot some hoops and hang out for the rest of the hour. He has some street cred with Luke because he likes Halo. And he has all of the street cred in the world with me, because he helps Luke get his work done with no pain and no tears.

Zach's class spent last month working on "persuasive writing," and even though Zach is pretty persuasive as it is, his writing shows some surprising demands. Here are a few samples, spelling corrected of course:

Dear Mom: Please can I have more minutes of screens! I really like awards. I will do anything for you. Love, Zach

Dear Mom: Could I have a cat and a sleepover with Justin at my house with three iPads. Please please. Because I want it I need it I really need both so badly. Love, Zach.

Dear Mom:
Please return your car so I can buy my six month year old cat. Love, Zach

(Backstory: When Dave sold his red Volvo, he got cash for it and he gave each of the boys a $100 bill. Ever since then Zach has been bugging me to sell my car so that he can get another $100, because that's how much you have to pay to get a cat at the cat rescue. He wrote these letters before we got Kaya, so apparently getting Kaya saved us $100.)

And then the finishing touch:

Dear Luke: Please, triple please, stop fighting me. Because you do it all the time. Because you get in trouble. Love, Zach.

Sigh. Kindler and gentler, people. That's where we're trying to go. Maybe Zach needs a bro too.

Deep Inside the Phone Vault

I've got this nice, nice camera that I use to shoot pictures of food...standing still...on the dining room table. So the camera doesn't leave the house much, and the camera doesn't take that many pictures of fast-moving kids or cats. When we're out and about, and I'm inspired to take a picture, it's almost always with my lousy, barely functional phone camera. And then those photos linger in my phone library, almost never to be seen by human eyes except my own. It's a shame, really. So this week I decided to empty out a recent sampling from my phone. Yes, the picture quality is terrible. Please talk to my IT department about that.

(Actually, I'm thinking this is the start of a new Catskills routine: "These pictures are terrible! And there aren't enough of them!")

The boys feeding the chickens at our friend's house on Easter morning (yield: one egg):

Zach showing off one of the finds (I believe it is the innards of a slot machine) that he used to build a spectacular art/machine masterpiece at our local trash-to-art warehouse:

Zach in his "straw door" costume after the Three Piggy Opera:

A bunch of lazy sea lions lounging on the dock as we cruised the marina in Marina del Rey on a friend's boat:

Luke carving out his place at the beach (this is moments before we all got completely soaked by a rogue wave):

Luke, at his favorite restaurant, demonstrating his cherry-stem-tying skills (Who knew that he was a closet Twin Peaks fan?). He specifically requested that this one go on Beach Bucket.

Zach at the same restaurant about to eat a "messy sundae." (Yes, of course that is redundant.) To make this sundae they actually roll the glass around in chocolate sauce so it is coated all the way around the outside, before they put the actual ice cream and chocolate sauce and whipped cream inside the glass. No one gets out without a napkin. (Confidential to my mom: Yes, they give out napkins.)

Kaya the cat, having finally figured out how to get to her favorite spot in the house: Luke's top bunk bed. Once she's snuggled up in the bed, she is officially her happy place (and by extension, Luke's as well).

Landing spots

A week ago, we weren't electric car owners and we weren't cat owners. What a difference a week makes. Here is my dreamboat husband (the car dealer told us Dave looked like Paul Rudd) and I celebrating our anniversary in our zippy new electric car.  Boogie-woogie-woogie indeed.

Here are the two boys with our new girl, Kaya. Kaya, our former backyard neighbor's cat, came to us through the most unbelievable set of circumstances. The boys loved her for a very long time when she lived behind us, until she and her owner suddenly moved away in December. The boys missed seeing her every day and they would talk about her often. Then - out of the blue - we got a letter addressed to "The family at..." from the owner. She told us that Kaya was miserable in her new home, that she longed for the kind of attention and love that the boys always gave her, and would we consider adopting Kaya? Yes - of course. Two days later, she was ours.

Oh, and did you notice that Zach looks just a little bit older? Well, he should be - he's six.

Six!?!! Not six months or six pounds - SIX years old.

My little mad scientist. *sniff* Seems like yesterday he didn't even know what C4 was.