High school

Here I am, back in high school...Well, not really. Just back at the old homestead for New Year's Eve and Day. But I had a weird high school flashback last night at the First Night experience. Watching a high school garage band, then watching the crowds of giggling girls standing by...Was I transported back to my high school days, seeing the cool confident girls and the shyer self-conscious ones, all trying to fit in? Or was I fast-forwarding my own life and seeing Luke up on that stage as a shaggy-haired high school drummer and watching the girls as if they were watching him? Maybe this is middle age, halfway between being in high school and having a high-schooler.

Then there's the whole "moving to New Jersey" farce that Dave and I let ourselves get caught up in. We could get a nice house for a lot less money, and we would be closer to at least half the family, and I would be happy, but in what alternate universe would it actually happen?

Then there's saying goodbye to Joe and Sara and their little posse. I guess I can't really wrap my mind around what it means to only see them every eight months. I feel like we get close to getting in the groove with them, getting to know them and their lives a little better, and then *zoop* we're out of town and it's another x months until we see each other again. It's like just barely grasping something and then it slips out of my fingers. Will Sam even remember me next time? We'll try to come back in the spring but I don't know how that's going to fly financially...or time-wise for Dave...or in the balance of the other things we want to see and people we want to visit. It's just a sad little struggle I have.

But before I let myself get too far down, let me try to remember some cool Luke things. Like watching the symphony and waving his arms like the "con....doctor" Or knowing the words to "Rudolph" and the nose book. Or counting to (gasp) nine!!! Who knew that he even knew these things? What else is stored in that head of his?

I told Mom/Dad/Unk last night about my theories on being a "homebody" and not wanting to run around with the crowds on a cold New Year's Eve. Then I thought more about it and I realized that I am possibly a homebody all the time. I mean, my ideal Christmas vacation at this point is hunkering down on the couch at Mom & Dad's house and getting some free time to go to Marshall's and the shoe outlet. Talk about a limited agenda...

I told Dave a few days ago that possibly this vacation was too long...and perhaps it is for a number of reasons. But the good thing is I have tomorrow, an unplanned day, that will possibly give me enough time to unpack some of my former life here - my cello, some kid stuff in the attic upstairs, etc. I think I try to avoid it because I don't want to deal with it, but I love the fact that it's still there.