Home for the Holidays

Here we are, in chilly NJ, having a ball. Oh, and here's the gingerbread house that Luke and I made. It was not quite as enjoyable as it sounds because the first 20 minutes or so were completely frustrating as I had to dismantle the house three times and it fell apart on its own one other time. But once we got it to stay together, we had a great time decorating it. Next year, I'll be a pro.

Part of what makes the whole trip easier for me this go-around is that Zach is completely comfortable. First thing worth noting is that he insisted on walking the entire length of the airport, trailing Luke's little wheeled suitcase behind him. So here was this tiny, tiny person wheeling this tiny, tiny suitcase very purposefully across the terminal and through the baggage claim area. I thought he looked like the cutest person in the world, but it wasn't just me. He actually brought a smile to every single person who saw him.

Here at the house, Zach is thrilled to play with everyone and go all over the house, and he's been sleeping soundly all night long. Whew.

Today we went out to chop down a Christmas tree, and much to our disappointment, the tree lot was not selling any more trees. So we had to go to get some pre-cut trees from a store nearby, which turned out to be fine, because my dad did all of the dirty work while the boys and I stood huddled inside the little shop. The main highlight of going out, after all, was dressing up the boys and helping them put on their new boots (firetruck boots for Zach, pirate boots for Luke). Last night when they were in bed, their boots were lined up by the front door: two little pairs standing together, just waiting for the next adventure. Just looking at the boots made me feel all teary-eyed and sentimental. Can't wait to see what's in store next.

Snow Men

I've been stressing out for more than a week about how yesterday was going to turn out; with back-to-back parties and commitments, it was a day that was a little too jam-packed for my taste. We did make it through the day relatively unscathed, but I calculated that I had been going non-stop from 6 am when the kids woke up until 10:30 pm when I finally gave out. In comparison, today was so much more relaxing. We had a wonderful Hanukkah/Granddad's birthday celebration with Dave's family; then we went home feeling all warm and fuzzy and took some well-earned naps.

After that we headed out to the snow play/fireworks celebration downtown. Luke (somewhat surprisingly) really took to the snow, and held on to one little dripping snowball for at least 45 minutes. Zach was less impressed. The snow was packed down and super-slippery, making it almost impossible for a toddle-y toddler to walk without wiping out.


Truthfully, I had been a little worried about Zach and the fireworks. There has been so much going on this weekend, sleep has been a little off, and there was no way to prepare him for what was going to be happening. So we were cautiously holding him when the first one went off...and... he started giggling. And the second one went off, and he started cackling. And the third one went off, and he just nearly fell to pieces he was laughing so hard. It was one of the few times I am sad we did not have a video camera. So while Luke covered his ears, Zach laughed and laughed and laughed all the way through the fireworks show. When we got home, we were saying "Boom!" to him and he would laugh and say "Boom! right back, knowing exactly what we were talking about.

New Jersey, and cold weather, here we come!

Zach be nimble... * Updated 12/14

...Zach be quick...Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to go the poetry route again. But what I do want to communicate is that Zach has figured out how to climb out of his crib. At 19 months. So in other words, we are sunk. I've had conversations with all kinds of people, including both of my parenting teachers, and my assessment of the situation is this: He seems to have scared himself when he vaulted out of the crib the other morning in frustration (he wanted to get up; I thought it was too early) and he hasn't attempted it since. In five more days he'll be in a pack-n-play for vacation. And after that, we may have to go the toddler bed route (I've been talked out of the crib tent). This was all extremely alarming to me, until I mentioned it to my mom, who said nonchalantly, "Oh, you climbed out of your crib at 20 months. You were my only climber." Turns out I earned myself a little toddler bed before I was even two. OK, so now at least I know it's not unheard of. By the way, this here's a picture of Zach, not in climbing mode, at the Hanukkah carnival at Dave's family's temple. Isn't he cuuuuuute?

Given the uncertainty of our future, things are relatively calm but Dave and I are still losing it a little bit at times. Example: Dave has kept a little running to-do list on our family white board, and he's been writing things down in his own jaunty little Dave shorthand - like "sprinx" for sprinklers. One of the items - "EQ box" - was up on the list for a long time until one day Dave finally asked me, "Do you remember what 'EQ box' was?" I had no idea, of course, and Dave mulled it over for a few more days before finally giving it up and erasing it. Couldn't have been that important, I guess. But if anyone has any ideas about what "EQ box" might have been, send 'em our way.

The good thing is that we've still been able to laugh about stuff - a lot. The other night Dave was trying to tell me about the Phone Call to the 14th Century and he got stuck on the "daylight savings" piece and he just completely lost it - tears rolling down his face, near hyperventilation - your classic Dave laugh-collapse. It's contagious, of course. Just one of the many reasons I love him.

Here's a good little thing about Luke (seen here also at the Hanukkah carnival, at the reptile-petting display): He has not complained about school at all this week, which is a really nice change of pace. Dave thinks it's because he learned that Zach will be joining him at school in January. That could be right, I guess, although I was thinking that maybe he's finally settled into a good routine with the "new" kids and teachers. I'm a little sad that we're going to miss the school's holiday show because he's been practicing the songs so earnestly. If you see him, make sure you ask him to sing "God Bless America" (complete with sign language) and "Jingle Bell Rock."

Closing episode #1: There's a kid in Luke's class who has a whole host of allergies. Luke is fascinated by the details, of course, and has been getting into deep conversations with the kid's mom about what it all means. The other day the mom said to me, "I didn't know Luke had so many allergies as well," and I said, "Excuse me?" and she said, "Well, he told me that he's allergic to nuts and to tropical fruits. He said that tropical fruits give him a 'high fever.'" Yeah. I'll leave that one alone.

Closing episode #2: Luke was asked to share one of his family holiday traditions at school, so he and I made spritz cookies. Before they served the cookies, the teachers asked him to say a little bit about the tradition. He told them, "I don't really want to say too many words. But I'll answer any questions."

Update #1: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Suzi came in less than 12 hours aft the post with "Earthquake Box," which was correct. Bobbie came in with the correct answer the following day.

Update #2: The other thing I meant to write about to illustrate that I was losing it, was that I had written a somewhat serious email to a friend last week and signed it "Keamme" - as in, my right hand was off by one key. She never said anything about it. Dave said, "She probably thinks you're so progressive, signing your emails with the Cherokee word for "Peace to all men."

Update #3: Luke spent some time the other day talking to my friend's son Ryan, age 22. It was one of those conversations that went on and on... Yesterday I saw Ryan and thanked him for spending so much time with Luke. Ryan told me, "It wasn't so much like having a conversation with a five-year-old. It was more like...being on the McLaughlin Group."

Holiday mash

Twas the month before Christmas
And all through the house
There was noise coming from everywhere
Even a small wind-up mouse.


The ornaments were hung
From the tree with care
All clustered at lower front-and-center
So the boys could grab them there.

But the kids were getting restless
And Mom was getting twitchy
So she said, "Let's go see Santa"
(Even though it's sorta kitschy.)

They headed over to Candy Cane Lane
(Right next to the new toy store)
It was covered with gingerbread and candy canes
And fake snow all over the floor.


The boys ran down the long ribboned lane
But the big jolly man was a no-show
His tall red chair sat empty that day
Because Santa was "stuck in the snow."


Luke, list in hand, was feeling let down
He had plenty of questions for me
But Zach didn't seem to mind at all
As long as the train table was free.

So we played, and we left
And went home without shedding a tear
But at dinner we thought, "There must be a way
to see Santa somewhere 'round here."

Lucky us - That very night
Santa was driving his sleigh through the town
Could we find him? Who knows?
We sped off with the kids buckled down.

Then we saw him - Hooray!
The flashing lights and crowd was the clue
We waited in line and Luke held his list high
Until our turn was due.



Then Luke sat on his lap and gave him the list
And talked and talked some more
(You might as well take your time with the guy -
It's not every day he's at your door).



When the time came for Zach he knew what to do
He climbed up to the bench next to me
And looked at the camera when Daddy said, "Cheese,"
Gave him a big smile and said, "Gee!"

Cul-chah

We took advantage of an otherwise quiet holiday weekend to cross some things off our perennial "Gee-we-should-do-that-someday" list. Saturday we took the boys to the tar pits, which was an eye-opener for Luke and didn't make the slightest impression whatsoever on Zach. Well, maybe that's not giving Zach enough credit. He enjoyed looking at the saber-tooth tiger models and saying "Meow, meow!" The only thing both boys seemed to notice equally was the somewhat long-ish drive (35 to 40 minutes) to get there (longer than we usually drag them on a regular weekend). At one point along the drive, Luke piped up peevishly, "Are we going to Palm Springs or China?" (which I think are the two longest trips he can imagine).

Sunday afternoon we headed up to the Skirball Cultural Center to see the now-famous Noah's Ark exhibit, and we were completely blown away (so to speak). There was plenty to keep both boys enormously entertained: building the ark, "making" the rain storm, pumping up lightning and wind tunnels, turning a crank to hoist pairs of animals up a big conveyor belt into the ark (see pic), climbing and exploring the ark through a series of rope ladders, and tinkering with all kinds of switches and gizmos to move parts of the ark or the animals.

The picture here with the zebra represents the most promising entrance ever to a museum exhibit. The boys were captivated instantly by the zebras' bodies, which are made with large attic fans that you can spin around and they make a very satisfying ticka-ticka-ticka sound. Between that and the crank-operated drums, we were occupied in that one little section for quite a while.

Dave and Luke and Zach also had a great time congregating in the nut storage house (insert nuthouse joke here). When you pull the rope, you can see into the upper chamber where there is a beehive and bees. Luke was a little uncertain about climbing up the rope ladders to get to the second story of the ark, but Zach had no hesitation about wanting to go up, and he paid no attention whatsoever to the sign that practically screamed out "AGES 4 AND UP ONLY!" Give it time, Zach, give it time.

Lots of things have happened since my last post, including a great visit with Mom and Dad, a nice T-day with Dave's family, and various unusual milestones. Luke crunched the back of his head on Hatcher's coffee table during a sleepover, resulting in an inch-long gash that is sure to leave a scar. We all worked together to put up a Christmas tree by November 24, the earliest in our family's history, and the most beautiful tree to date. Dave got so sick for a few days from some unknown virus or food poisoning that he had to stop and take a nap every time he walked up the stairs. And Zach added a most unexpected new word: Seeing Luke outside calling after our neighbor's cat Frodo, Zach has taken to standing out on the front stoop and yelling, "Ro-ro! Ro-ro!"

I think we're on the cusp of a Zach speech explosion, but there are a couple of funny things about how he's learning. One, he's suddenly started using all kinds of signs, even though he has new words now too. It's like the signs and the words came hand in hand, rather than one after another. Two, if I ask him to say a word he won't always say it, but if Luke asks him to say a word he'll repeat it instantly. He also loves to imitate Luke. Yesterday when Luke was shouting out to some question, "I know! I know!" Zach chimed right in with, "I know! I know!"

Also, after all of this time without speaking, it is immensely satisfying to feel like you're having an actual conversation with him. Example: "Zach, do you want a cookie?" "Yeah!"
(Smart kid, eh?)

Pool boys

Ok, there've been too many words lately. How about just some pictures? (Thanks, Bill - You rule!)

A leg to stand on

We're in Palm Springs now, and somehow we seem to have continued living our life in a protective bubble and missed the devastating wildfires that have been destroying big swaths of Southern California. We drove right past them on the way out here; now we're east of the fires and while the beach is getting all of the soot and ash, our air is clear, warm, and dry.

Things feel a little strange right now. On the one hand, we're hanging out in a wonderful paradise with some of our dearest loved ones (parents from both sides, Suzi and Boom-Boom) and enjoying every minute of it. As Dad put it, "If you don't think you're going to make it to heaven, you should at least plan to spend some time in Southern California."

At the same time, I'm feeling like we're a little...untethered. With Dave's future wide open, all kinds of different options might be on the table, and it's hard to picture where we'll be or what things might be like six months from now. That said, I'm just trying to keep an open mind and be a little freer in letting myself enjoy things. Like having a margarita at dinner (ooooh...). Or taking a wild and crazy 45-minute trip to the casino last night and losing nine dollars (which is OK because Dave won $90).

Luke seems to have taken on a new obsession and we're not exactly sure where it came from. Apparently he was asking my dad about artificial limbs; then yesterday at the zoo Luke happened to see a man with an artificial leg, and he went bananas (Luke, not the man.) (When the man left the cafe, Luke let out a "Hey! Where'd the man with the artificial leg go!?!?!?"). While Luke's not busy in the pool, he seems to want to spend most of his time with Dad searching the web for pictures and videos of artificial limbs. Tonight at dinner he asked me, "Was Zach born without a hand?" and when I told him no, Zach has always had both hands, he seemed almost disappointed that our family was so completely boring to have all of our limbs and other appendages intact.


Zach is doing well and we have quantitative measures to prove it. We took him to an 18-month speech assessment the other day, and the occupational therapist did a whole range of tests and exercises to make sure he is on track. Apparently he's right at the 18-month level for speech and he's at the 20- and 21-month level for fine and gross motor skills. He's still saying "ba" for most words but he's adding new expressions all the time. "Ding-dong!" "Ning-ning-ning!" (for wind chimes) and "Wow!!!" Yesterday he successfully pointed to his nose, and today we all swear he correctly asked for a grape ("bape").

He loves the pool almost as much as Luke, but the funny thing about this Palm Springs house is how much he loves the rainbow towels. Zach can't wait to get out of the pool to play peek-a-boo under a big snuggly towel. Life is good, right?

...Just took a one-day break during which we did more swimming, I did tons of shopping, and I'm finally getting a chance to get back on the computer. Dave drove me and my parents out to the end of the Indian trail tonight to look at the stars. As soon as we got out of the car I could see a big white swath across the sky that I knew was the Milky Way. There were tons of stars, and it was one of the quietest places I've ever been. It's a nice preparation for tomorrow, leaving day, which should be plenty noisy.

Join the circus

Still no pics. Sorry 'bout that.

Since I last wrote, there have been some historic things happening. Like voters failing to approve Prop. 5, and voters somehow getting convinced to approve Prop. 8. Oh, and the Obama thing.

We spent election day afternoon getting situated in a super-large primo suite in the L.A. hotel where all of the Democrats were stationed. After the boys took a bath in one (!) of our suite's bathrooms, we got all dressed up to go to Dave's party in one of the meeting rooms downstairs. The party gave each boy an opportunity to experience his own version of heaven (Luke = a room full of people to talk to! Zach = a room full of balloons!). At about 6:30, Dave had the foresight to take Luke down to the giant ballroom where there were some 8,000 Obama supporters getting revved up for a big night. When the two of them came back to our party, I went down to take a look myself. I could barely get down the escalators, and when I got to the ballroom level, they had cut off access to the ballroom and there were long lines winding in every direction to get in to the ballroom. So I turned around and went upstairs, and at that point they had even cut off access to the escalators. Good thing I wasn't hung up on getting in. Besides, there was plenty of good stuff at Dave's party, including appetizers, room-service dinner, and a giant sheet cake.

Eventually I brought the boys back up to our suite. By 7:59 I had both boys in pajamas, and I had just started putting Zach to bed in the dark bedroom, when the most raucous, joyous sounds of celebration started bursting out from down below. That made putting a baby to sleep a little awkward. ("Sleepytime, Zach..." "YAH! YAH! WAHOOOOO!" "Shhh...Sleepytime, Zach..." "HONK! HONK-HONK-HONK!" etc.) After I managed to get Zach to sleep I brought Luke over to the window where we looked out and saw people streaming into the streets. We later learned that the fire marshal had actually shut down access to the hotel because there were so many people in the lobby at that point.

Luke and I read a book together and then I let him curl up against my chest and I tried to explain to him what an important night it was. He's old enough now that the big memories are the ones he'll carry with him forever, and I hope this is one of them. We talked for a little bit, and then he slowly drifted off to sleep on my chest, with the party still going on below us. I don't know if he'll remember that night but I always will.

(Side note: Here's hoping I'll forget the worst part of the night: Zach had such a bad cold/cough and was so jangled by the strange surroundings that he could not get himself into a deep enough sleep. Every 20-40 minutes he kept waking up. He had a miserable night of sleep and so did we.)

The next morning Luke's vision of heaven continued, with Imagination Movers on our big-screen TV, and a full room-service breakfast set up in front of him so he didn't even have to move away from the TV. Then he and Dave went for a swim down at the pool...and by that point he had declared that we needed to go back to our house, get the fish, and move into our hotel room because he never wanted to leave.

In fact, when it was time to leave, Luke was so completely bereft that he could not stop weeping. "This is the most beautiful hotel in the world, and I never, ever, ever want to leave" he kept declaring. We finally got him into the car, but he was allowed to keep the key card from the room - and he carried the card around all day, and the next day, when he brought it for show-and-tell at school.

I think part of the reason Luke had been so happy was just having the opportunity to spend some real fun-time with Dave. I mean we've seen Dave mostly every night, but he's been so busy that it just hasn't been the same. Now that the campaign is over, I can feel things steadily returning to normal, and Luke becoming just a little bit happier and more at ease.

Today we took the boys to a little play about the circus. I hadn't really expected Zach to sit through too much of it, but wouldn't you know - Zach was possibly more entertained than even Luke was. During a scene with a lion tamer cracking a whip and four "lions" (actors dressed in funny lion costumes), Zach could not stop giggling. Luke seemed to be more impressed with a scene about a man being shot through a cannonball. Oh, and the mother of one of Luke's friends was in the play, and she was dressed up like a flea, singing a song about how hard it was to be a flea. So that was something to remember.

Now we're just settling in, trying to get back to normal again, and trying to get healthy. Both boys are on antibiotics due to a lingering cough/cold. We're just hoping to get rid of it all in the next three days, before Grandma Joan and Papa come and the excitement really starts heating up again.

The wave

One of the things they never tell you in those child-rearing books is just how much toilet paper you're going to go through if you have a 4 -1/2 year old and a 1-1/2 year old. The 4-1/2 year old still can't quite gauge how much he needs, and the 1 1/2 year old just wants to grab the end of the roll and run...

So. Since I last wrote, Zach hit the 18-month mark and Luke is down one tooth. You won't see any pictures of these milestones because our camera is officially kaput. Dave bought a new camera the other day but it's still sitting downstairs somewhere under wraps and we haven't had a chance to put it to official use yet.

The tooth-pulling thing was OK, all things considered. Luke was really out of it that day from 9 am till about 2 pm, when he suddenly bounced up and started doing projects. (I thought he was OK immediately after the procedure, until he told the nurse dreamily, "You look like you have three eyeballs.") The tooth fairy left him a shiny 50-cent piece and a card; later in the day she left him a present (collection of large bugs encased in plastic, plus magnifying glass) outside the front door. Luke was so excited about the tooth fairy that for about three days all he wanted to do was play tooth fairy and re-enact the leaving of presents under a pillow.

At the moment, there's basically a big hole in the front of his face where his tooth used to be. It's mostly healed but it seems to be a little sore because yesterday he was complaining that it burned while he was eating pizza. That's a big bummer because a pizza-free diet means that just about 50 percent of his food options are gone. But in general, he's been a good sport about the whole thing.

So Zach is now a year and a half. I kinda thought he might have more words now than he does, but what he lacks in actual words he makes up for in constant expressive babbling and tuneful singing. Today his big word was "Wow!" so when I took him to the pumpkin patch he was entertaining me by getting excited at every new batch of pumpkins: "Wow! Wow! WOW!"

Another thing about Zach is that he's incredibly conscientious. If he sees trash at the park, he'll pick it up and put it straight in the trash can. When he's finished with a meal at home, he'll carry his plate into the kitchen...and put it straight in the trash can. We'll have to work on that part a little bit, but at least his heart is in the right place.

It's hard not to compare Zach with Luke; I know that Luke was/is a generally more outgoing guy with strangers. Luke is/was the kind of kid who has a big smile and something to talk about with everyone. Zach is a little bit of a harder nut to crack. He mostly clings to me around strangers and rarely gives a smile for someone on command. But we've had a few breakthroughs this week. He didn't cry at all when Juana and Jennifer came to babysit, and he readily and happily offered balls and kisses to Suzi and Bill when they came to dinner. Today, shock of all shocks, when Luke's teacher said goodbye to us as we left school, Zach waved and said, "Bye!" Now that is a huge first.

I'm really fine with Zach having his own distinct personality and I'm not trying to force him to be someone he's not. It just makes me sad that he's a little harder to warm up to because I know what an amazing, funny, cool little guy he is and I wish that more people would have a chance to see that.

But here's the thing: I know another guy who is kind of like that some ways. He doesn't necessarily open up to everyone; maybe it's a little harder to get super-close to him. But once you're in his inner circle, you get to see what an amazing, hilarious, brilliant, completely unique and lovable person he is. And once you're in, he is a dedicated friend for life. I think Zach takes after him in a lot of ways, and that's just one of the many reasons I love them both.

Update #1: Yesterday my friend Jenny, one of the sweetest people in the universe, said hi to Zach and he buried his face in my chest. She just patted him on the head and laughed. "You're going to love me, little man," she said. "You just don't know it yet." Luke has a huge crush on Jenny, so she is probably right.

Update #2: To be entirely clear for the uninitiated: I am talking about Dave. There. Everyone happy now?

Picture perfect

All in all, this week was one I would not do over again. Dave was gone or super-busy all week, I wound up doing incredibly difficult things by myself with the two boys that I should never have attempted by myself with the two boys, and I basically ran myself into the ground with exhaustion. Low points included 1) going to Luke's soccer game by myself with Zach in tow, and not being able to cheer for Luke because Zach was running all over the fields (but some friends volunteered to cheer for Luke in case I missed it) and 2) taking Luke to the oral surgeon consult while trying to keep Zach from either screaming or running into the other examination rooms. After that doctor visit, I was literally sweating and saying to myself, "At least I'll never have to live that hour of my life over again," only to then go on and spend another hour in drugstore hell waiting for Luke's prescription for antibiotics, with Zach screaming, and Luke crying because he was hungry and tired and had to go to the bathroom and didn't like Zach's screaming. You get the picture.

So...speaking of pictures...Here's a sample (not to be reproduced) of the picture of Luke that was in the paper after Dave's race. Isn't he a superstar?

Also today we went down to the beach to get some family portraits taken. I have no idea how any of them turned out, but we all came back covered in sand, so at least we can say the boys had a good time. That's enough for now. I need a break.

Funny ha-ha

Luke and I have this jokey thing we call "sneeze talking." I'll pick him up from school and on the way home I'll say, "Ha-ha-ha-ha-how-was-your-day!" and he'll say, "Ha-ha-ha-ha-pretty-good!" and so on and so on, in sneezing fashion. You can feel free to think this is extremely annoying but Luke thinks it's hilarious. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing it up is that Zach thinks it's funny too, and he tries to imitate it. Yesterday he even tried to initiate some sneeze-talking of his own. We were reading a book and he pointed to a balloon and said, "Ha-ha-ha-ha-bab-m!"

We are in the frenzied final days* of election season, with Dave busy to the point of being dragged down in a surprisingly un-Dave-like fashion. It's hard on the kids too - Can you imagine being stuck with me all the time and only getting little dribs and drabs of Dave-time here and there? Yeah, it's not pretty. We need our humor wherever we can get it.

Sunday night Dave had to fly up to Sacramento, but he managed to get a seat on an extra-late flight so he could do dinner and bedtime with us. Although there is a strict Dave-imposed rule about no food downstairs in the family room (we all break that rule now and then, but don't tell him) he decided to make an exception for Dodger playoff game day. We fired up the grill, cooked up some Dodger Dogs and brought everything downstairs to eat while watching the game. Everyone was surprisingly into it - including Zach - and there were fewer food/drink casualties than you would expect.

So Luke has had kind of a hard month, with his school/friend adjustment, the cancellation of his science class, and the erosion of his special mom time with my new writing assignments. Today we found out it's about to get worse - he has to get a tooth pulled. The front tooth that he had chipped way back when he was only 22 months old has gotten more and more discolored, and now an abscess has developed just above it. The dentist did an x-ray today and the roots are just gone - the tooth is totally dead and has to come out. I don't think Luke is quite sure what to expect (and neither am I) but he seems kind of excited about it, telling everyone in school that he's getting his tooth pulled. We have our consultation with the oral surgeon tomorrow. Ugh.

I finally got some kind of good news to deliver to Luke this morning, of all places, at Zach's Mommy and Me class. Luke and I ran into my teacher last week and she was so nice to him that it made him all sad that he didn't have a Mommy and Me class to go to. When I mentioned this to her, she told me to bring him next week as a special treat and he can be a big brother to all of the little kids as they have their Halloween parade around the school grounds. Luke was beyond thrilled to get this invitation.

Also, one of the moms in my class who lives a few blocks over from us told me that they are getting a special treat ready for Halloween. They have an upside-down house like we do, with the kitchen and main family space on the third floor, and they kept getting tired of running up and down the stairs on Halloween for trick-or-treaters. So her husband has been working for several months to perfect some sort of candy-shooter to shoot the candy down from the third floor to trick-or-treaters who stand in a specially marked target area, holding their bags open. This idea has positively filled Luke with glee and he is counting the days until he can go there and get some candy shot at him. At this point, I can't wait for Halloween to get here either. Whatever it takes.

*thanks to Dad and all word usage geeks for the timely correction.

I need a raise

Funny how almost all of my stories end with, "...and then we had to go straight home and take a bath." This one is no different. We go to this hill of dirt (also known as a playground) every Monday after Luke's sports class. For some reason yesterday everyone got far dirtier than usual. My friend Christa was inspired to take this picture (with her phone) and immediately email it to Dave at his office with the subject line, "Your mess."

(Side note - The much-loved carrot shirt got so completely filthy that if it had been any other shirt I might have tossed it. But because it was the carrot shirt, I lovingly bathed it in a Clorox bleach solution, rinsed, bleached, rinsed, bleached, for about an hour until I finally got it close to normal. The things I do for love.)

Also, for anyone who happens to call or email Luke after seeing my last entry - please note that we are down to just one fish. Rexy died about 8 hours after arriving at our house. Luke was strangely OK with it, though. It might have had something to do with Dave's carefully planned speech about death and the fragility of goldfish. But Luke just kind of moved on and renamed Jerry as Rexy, so we still have a fish named Rexy, and he seems happy enough for now.

One last note - I seem to have scored myself a new little gig writing parenting articles for a new web site. The pay is probably less than I pay my babysitters, so it's no gold mine or house down payment, but I think it'll be fun and will put me on the road to doing more of what I really like to do. So for now - yay, me.

The Cat's Meow

When Zach and I used to go out for a run/walk, he didn't have much to say except for the occasional "Ba!" Now our soundtrack is Zach's constant narration of the scenery: "Aya! Gock! Gock! Aya! Aya!" and so on ("Gock" being rock). Every now and then we have the occasional "Maow, maow!" Yep, that's right - Zach has started making cat noises. He'll point to just about any member of the feline species (including a lion in a book) and say "maow, maow." Maybe it's not that interesting but it sure seems like a breakthrough to me because it wasn't a sound that I necessarily encouraged much; he just picked it up on his own. (He also makes a surprisingly gutteral and convincing dinosaur sound, but that doesn't come in quite as handy.)

It's a race weekend for us; Dave had his big 10-K yesterday and Zach will run the toddler trot today. On Friday night I got all prepared to help Luke make a sign for Dave; I turned around for a second and by the time I turned back Luke had already written the entire sign without help (including the "Go! Go! Go!" and the "Dad"). You have to admit (yes, you have to) that it is the cutest sign ever. At least the photographer from the newspaper thought so when she saw him holding it out on the street and took a picture. Let's hope they print it.

Today (we're back from the fair now) was going to be Zach's big debut into the realm of athletic competition with the annual Toddler Trot (25-yard race for the under-2 set). Usually when he wants to get from point A to point B (especially if there's an incentive like an open toilet) Zach is faster than Usain Bolt (see Beijing 2008) in getting there. But for this race, even though we had Dave with a balloon and Luke with a sign to entice him at the other end, when the emcee shouted "Go!" Zach stood there frozen with indecision. Stay with Mom? Run? Walk? Look up at the sky? Look at all of the hundreds of people shouting? Apparently there were too many options. In Zach's heat, a little toddler girl took off at the start and never looked back, leaving everyone in the dust. That's fine. I still see athletic glory, scholarships, and lucrative corporate sponsorships in our future.

The other news of the day is that we now have two new family members, Rexy and Jerry. Luke won them at the fair, thereby committing us to several weeks (or months) (or years - talk to my mom about this one) of feeding and caring for small goldfish. I pray that they are easy on us.

Line of the day: Luke, after studying a moving escalator for a few minutes: "What happens when it runs out of steps?"

Fine

Yesterday at the farmers' market, Zach was trying to get out of the stroller, and I said to him something like, "Oh, Zach, come on, you're fine." Zach shook his head no. So Luke looked at him and said, "Zach, are you fine?" and Zach vigorously shook his head NO!. Now this has become their little joke: Luke will say, "Zach, are you fine?" and Zach will do the head-shake, and the two of them will laugh and laugh. Hilarious. Somehow I feel like it's at my expense.

I haven't been able to write for a long time because I've been stuck in a big hole of anguish and despair. Yes, sounds melodramatic, but it's true. Long story short, we had to unravel a complicated and unfortunate situation with Luke's school and with our friends, which somehow coincided with broader questions we were having about money, our house, our future - and also with Zach's alarming new decision to wake up during hours that start with the number "5." I think we're in a better place now that we've muddled through the situation, but I've had more than my share of sleepless nights and unforgiving mornings. Needless to say you won't be seeing any pictures of me any time soon.

Anyhow, since no one really wants to hear about my angst, here's a picture of Luke and Zach from a park that Luke and I named "The Restaurant Park." It has a little water-spout feature and a platform area with all sorts of crazy tubes and bowls and receptacles. We used to mix sand and water and pretend we were cooking at a restaurant. Now, inexplicably, Luke had decided that it is a kitty litter factory. But thankfully he hasn't wanted to rename it "Kitty Litter Park."

The trick is, when you go there, you have to be prepared to have everyone end up covered in wet sand and mud. It helps to have an extra change of clothes, a towel, water, and some snacks; but by law, I am required to forget some important item each time. Yesterday I forgot a towel. So we all shook ourselves off as best we could; the boys stripped off their shirts, and we piled back into the car (covered with a fine layer of muddy sand) and headed straight back home into the bathtub.

Tonight (continuing on Thursday now) Luke's school had a pizza party in the park. I had no less than three moms tell me that their daughters have declared that Luke is their boyfriend. Uh-oh.

I always feel like there's so much to say about Luke so it's a nice change to be able to say that there is SO MUCH going on with Zach. He communicates, even if it's only through small words or gestures, and he has an astonishing capacity to understand what people are saying. The other day we told him, "Zach, can you find 'Up Above and Down Below?'" and he dutifully went over to the pile of books and dug through them until he found the book we were talking about. The other thing is that he is a complete and total bookworm. If he sees a book, any book, he'll take it and snuggle up on your lap with it. He reads much more advanced books than Luke ever did at this age, just because we have those kinds of books around the house now for Luke.

At bedtime, we have a funny routine where Zach needs to go through 6 to 10 books (they each take about 30 seconds to read) before he's ready to read the final "good night" book. I could just watch him all day, toddling over to the bookshelf in his footie pajamas, with a very serious look on his face, contemplating which book should be next. If he turns out to be as good a reader as Luke, that'll tell me that -- in the middle of all of this uncertainty -- at least we're doing something right.

Closing: Luke's rendition of what a presidential debate would sound like: "I want to be the boss of the country!" "No, I want to be the boss of the country!" "No, I want to be the boss of the country!" etc.

We (heart) our readers

Lest we get bogged down in overly long descriptions of random incidents, we're trying a new reader-friendly format today.



News: Zach likes kissing.
Relevant to: Relatives, friends, cute girls in 14 years or so
Related anecdote: The real reason I didn't put pictures in the last blog entry was because Zach was kissing Luke and it was so cute I couldn't believe it... so I ran downstairs to get the camera, and Zach burst into tears because I left, and then Luke burst into tears because Zach wouldn't kiss him again, and it was just an enormous mess.
Secondary anecdote: Zach had to get some shots at the doctor's office yesterday, and they had him sitting on the table, and he looked down and saw the tray with all of the shot equipment... and I said, "Come on Zach, give me a kiss!" so I could distract him, and he gave me a look that was like "Are you kidding me?!?!" and shook his head "NO!" He's pretty smart, that one.

News: Luke's soccer game was better today, somehow, than last week.
Relevant to: Luke, me, Dave, coaches, teammates, interested relatives
Related anecdote: Luke finally got his big kickoff today. Not much else changed today except his attitude seemed better and we played a more evenly matched team. Oh, and the team has a cool new banner.

News: The only thing that Zach finds funnier than running into the bathroom and sticking his hands in the toilet, is having someone run after him saying, "No, Zach, no, Zach, no, Zach, no!"
Relevant to: Me, Dave, Luke, and anyone who uses our upstairs bathroom
Related anecdote: I bought him a dollar-book yesterday called, "Zack Practices Obedience" (not spelled the 'right' way, but still... hahahahaha)

News: Dave and Zach have the same hair; Luke and I have the same hair
Relevant to: Only my mom
Related anecdote: We all went swimming last night, then went out for pizza immediately afterwards. A full 45 minutes after any of us had been in the pool, Dave and Zach were sitting there with dry-as-a-bone, perfectly coiffed hair; while Luke and I still had completely wet, thick mop-heads.

News: We've started picking some of the carrots that Luke planted
Relevant to: Luke, me, Dave, neighborhood rabbits
Related anecdote: They're not pretty, but he'll eat 'em!

The Mystery of Aya

For all of the Luke-obsessions we have gone through (underground, fish, blades, hazard lights), none was more annoying and seemingly destined never to end than hazard lights. Everywhere you go, there are cars, and every car has a hazard light. So it was incredibly difficult to walk down the street, go into a parking lot, or do just about anything other than sit around in the backyard without having to stop and examine every single hazard light.

But somehow, against all odds, we seem to have moved on. These days we're actually able to move through the world without stopping to peer inside every car. Sure, if he sees a new car (like the Bentley we saw last week) or one of his favorite cars (Maserati, Prius, Mini Cooper), he might want to check it out. But otherwise we are pretty much enjoying a hazard-light-free lifestyle.

Of course there has to be a new obsession and now it's bees and bee stings. I think it started from the wasps' nest out on our balcony...and all of the dead wasps that he got to examine after the exterminator came. Then he wanted to find out more about bee stings, and when he learned that some people are allergic to bees, he was hooked. It had all of the elements of fear, drama, and danger to be a compelling new obsession. The other day I arrived at school to find him deeply engaged in a game that involved his friend Kaiya lying motionless on the ground. "We're playing Bee Sting Dead," he explained. It's a little weird, but as long as it doesn't interfere with my daily life, I'll take it any day over hazard lights.

Some of you may remember that way back before Luke could really speak, we were completely mystified as to why he called a bird a "dewp." He would point out the window and get all excited: "Dewp! Dewp!" It took me several months until we realized that he was trying to say "Chirp!"

Now that Zach is at about the same stage, we had another mystery on our hands. We have a book that shows a big desert scene and every time we turned to that page, Zach would point to it and say insistently, "Aya! Aya!" It cracked me and Luke up every time, trying to figure out what he was saying. Spider? Gila monster? Dry? Sand? Hot? We finally figured it out when we walked by a house with some big cactus plants and Zach started going bananas with, "Aya! Aya!!" I think (because he always wants to touch them) that he's been told that they are very "ow!" and that's what he's been trying to say. Luke loved the fact that we had solved the mystery, and he has been putting the book in front of Zach's face, pointing to the cactus and saying, "Say 'aya!'"

It's been a rough week with 5:30 am wakeups (and it's too dark at that time for us to even go for a run!) and Dave being gone. So no pictures, and no warm, fuzzy, or witty conclusion. This blog entry is just over. Go on! Do something else! Stop playing around on the computer! Time to move on.

Green Machine

Today I spent my first day as a soccer mom, and I've gotta tell you, it's easy to get swept up in the hysteria. Luke enjoyed the first half-hour, which was a practice session with some cool imported British soccer dudes (see pic, Luke is seated). The second half hour, which was the game, was not quite as thrilling for him. He mostly shuffled around the field, trailing the action, and he never even touched the ball. I could feel my frustration welling up until I finally laid it out on Dave: "The coaches NEED to give him a chance on one of these free kicks!!" So Dave dutifully worked it out with the coach, I gave myself a little time out away from the action, Luke was given the ball for one important kick, and... TWEET! The game ended before he could even set the ball down. The coaches have promised him he will do the lead kickoff for next week's game, but he's not so enthused. More importantly, he's disappointed that the team name is going to be "The Green Dragons" instead of his first choice, "The Joeys." I think we all need to work on our attitudes.


And when I say, "we all," I'm referring strictly to me and Luke, not to Dave and Zach, the good-natured half of the family. Zach is just happy to go to the game and pick up any available ball (see pic). He's also happy to play with the tetherball, stray tennis balls, and even balls that other, far bigger, kids are using.

Aside from balls, Zach is starting to take on a new interest in moving vehicles. It's amazing to me that he doesn't really have that many words yet but he can make convincing and distinct noises to imitate a car, a truck, a plane, a digger, a dump truck, and a fire or police siren. Imagine his delight when I gave him a shirt with a little fire truck on the front. He was pointing to his chest and saying "Wee-ooo wee-ooo!" all morning.

I'm not so hung up on my birthday anymore, but apparently it made a big impression on Luke. For the past week, any time he needs to say goodbye or goodnight, he feels compelled to add, "Oh, and happy birthday, Mom." It's funny - he just said it to me again as he went to bed - but I am starting to think this birthday is turning into Groundhog Day for me. How many more times until I get it right?

40

That's me, forty. Feels weird, but what choice do I have? Lucky for me we had a three-day weekend to drag out the celebration. Here I am on Sunday night with the boys, blowing out candles on the yummy carrot cake from Grandma Bobbie and Granddad. (The cake was preceded by a face-stuffing meal at my favorite barbecue place, so if I look a little puffy you can blame the beef brisket sliders.)

Tonight I wanted to take advantage of the wonderful apples that Bill and Joan had given us from their tree - plus I had a box of phyllo dough - so Luke helped me construct the World's Most Perfect and Beautiful Apple Strudel. Good thing we invited our friends Brandi, Bruce, Eitan, and Daniel over. Otherwise who else would have believed we made such a great strudel? And how would we have eaten the whole thing ourselves? (Strike that, I think we would have managed.) So here I am, where I am probably happiest, in the kitchen with the boys.

Forty is just fine.

Pick your poison

Lots of things have happened this week, but unfortunately the one memory that is likely to stand out is Luke swallowing a toothpick at the farmers' market. It was a complete accident, not a goofy stunt, and it was apparently as painful as it sounds. So he and I spent the greater part of the day on Friday in the emergency room, waiting for x-rays, waiting for the doctor, etc. Once they determined that it was not stuck in his throat, they gave him the all-clear to go home and eat popsicles. Clearly it was a traumatic event for him, and yet I'm still astonished at how completely wiped out it left him on Friday night. In fact, I have never known him to go so long without saying anything. But Zach was clearly loving his opportunity to have center stage.

Notable milestones from the week: Luke is about 80 percent there in terms of really being able to swim; apparently it just took a few lessons at school to give him the confidence jump-start he needed in the water. He's also made astonishing strides in being able to hit a baseball pitched to him. Oh, and he's all gung-ho about his new soccer team. Not that he necessarily likes soccer or anything, but there some other cool kids on the team, and there are uniforms and they're green!

Zach has a new fascination with the tricycle. His little legs can't quite reach the pedals yet but he knows what they're supposed to do and he is desperate to do it. (The only drawback is that Luke now has a renewed fascination with the tricycle; go figure.) One other little milestone for Zach is a fierce resistance to anything he doesn't want to do, which includes getting into the car seat, getting pajamas on, and getting a diaper changed. Only one of these three things is potentially optional. If you've heard him screaming, which perhaps you have, then you know why I'm about to turn prematurely gray.

Speaking of prematurely gray, or not, today is my last day in my thirties. Yesterday, to celebrate, Dave took me out to a beautiful lunch at the spot where we got married. While we were sitting there, I got a little misty-eyed, but it was entirely out of happiness, not because I'm sad about getting older. In fact, I'm looking forward to something new. Where are those 40's, anyway? Lemme at 'em!

Hazards of life

On Saturday we were about two blocks into our 10-block walk to our breakfast restaurant when my sandal suddenly felt strangely off-kilter. I looked down and saw that the leather sole had split open and the super-thick foam cushion had started falling off in chunks. "Do you want to go back and change shoes?" Dave asked. "Nah," I said, "It'll be fine for these few blocks."

In fact, my sandal not only was broken, but it continued breaking apart in spectacular fashion. Everywhere I walked I left large chunks and chocolate-cake-like crumbs of brown foam behind. There was an especially big pile outside the restaurant, and then under the table where we were sitting (blame the baby!). Finally, after we ate, I crumb-trailed down the hill to the closest open store to buy some new shoes.

As it turned out, there was a sidewalk sale that morning and all sorts of shoes were already out in bins at bargain prices. "Mom! You have to get these! They're green and they have DIAMONDS on them!" yelled Luke, waving a pair of kelly-green flip-flops with metal studs. "Bah! Bah!" insisted Zach, handing me a pair of silver ballet flats with a sparkling skull at the top. How strange to go shoe-shopping with the whole family. Luckily, I found a plain little pair of brown flip-flops, just what I needed to get on with my day. As Luke helped me toss the old crumbly sandals into the trash can, I realized that I had bought that pair right before our first family trip to Italy in 2000. Those sandals have sure seen a lot. I think, more than anything, they finally had just had it with me.

Why did I share that story? I'm not sure. It's just going to have to fit into a general theme of random-ness that I feel today. Anyhow...


Last night we went to the Sunday evening concert in the park with Hatcher and family, and as an added attraction Luke and I made a hazard light cake (a long-promised reward for a Pull-Up-free lifestyle). It was especially sweet to share that cake with Julie and Stu, because they, more than any of our friends, have been through much of the same thing and have changed their share of Luke's Pull-Ups. I loved watching Julie give Luke an extra-big hug and seeing Luke just beaming from ear to ear all night long.

Another random thing to relate is that while Zach doesn't necessarily have many new words, he is starting to sing Luke's Volvo song. You know - 'V-o-l-v-o, Volvo! V-o-l-v-o, Volvo!'" As soon as Zach hears someone singing it, he'll chime right in, "Ee-oh-ba-ba-ba, BaBa!" completely in tune. Last night while we were leaving the concert Luke was singing the Volvo song and Zach was acting as his echo. Before long we had attracted quite an appreciative crowd. (Granted, many of them seemed to be a little on the tipsy side. Well, OK, most.)

And here's what's amazing about Zach: He really just walks everywhere. We now have a total of four strollers and two wagons in our garage, and we might be just fine without them. When Dave goes on a walk with the boys in the evening, Zach really walks. When we go down to play at the school, Zach really runs. None of this wimpy stroller stuff for him. Looks like he's bound to wear through shoes even faster than I do.

Photo booth

This here's a pic-strip from a little escapade that Luke and Zach and I had with my Aunt Liz in Cape May. Liz gamely (get it? heh) volunteered to come with us to the arcade and she played along while Luke pretended to drive the cars and Zach tossed the skee-balls all over the place. Before we left, we decided to cram ourselves into a photo booth just for kicks. So we put in the money and before we could even get situated...FLASH! What?!?! It's taking our picture already?!?! How do we know if we're all in the... FLASH! Quick, everyone smile! Come on, Luke! FLASH! Alright, let's at least try to look good for the last one. Zach, look at the... FLASH!

I held off on packing the little pic-strip because I didn't want it to get bent, and then at the very last minute I tucked it into a book so it would stay flat. Then when we finally got home, I couldn't find it. I emailed Liz to tell her that I was mourning the loss of this world-class keepsake. "I'm sure it will turn up," she told me. So I renewed my search, and - voila! There it was, tucked into Luke's pirate book in his backpack. Now why I would have stuffed it there thinking it would be safe, I have no idea.

I love this little pic-strip because I know it's going to be one of those things that we unpack years later and say, "Hey - do you remember that summer in Cape May?" or "Can you believe I used to wear those ridiculous-looking glasses?" or "Do you remember when we used to print photos on paper?" But mostly I'm happy because Liz is in it. We hardly ever get to see her, but when we do it's always the best. She reminds me in so many ways of her mom, our beloved Grandma P. , who was fun-loving, loved kids, and had a great sense of humor. Also, this is the first time we've really hung out since I've been a mom, and I was so happy to discover that she and I think so much alike about so many different mom-things. She bonded with Luke and Zach immediately, she gave me a much-needed extra hand at the end of the week, and I think she doesn't even hold it against me that I kept forgetting to bring diapers along every time we went out somewhere.

So, Liz, from 3,000 miles away, this one's for you!

Cleaning out the fridge

Nothing much new to report except for a few miscellaneous things, so I'll just forge ahead:

Luke, watching our neighbor Michael head off for work in his Land Rover: "Michael, are you going to drive over some big rocks on your way to your office?"

Zach, after being told NOT TO DRINK THE BATH WATER AGAIN, takes a big gulp of bath water out of his play cup, gives me a huge smile, and says, "Mmmmmmmmmm!"

Luke, after waking up and coming into my room on a morning when Dave is not home: "How 'bout I pretend I'm Daddy and I just lie here while you say all of the boring things that you and Daddy talk about?"

Zach, after deciding that he only wants to walk down the stairs standing up, and hearing me say "Careful!" after every step: "Kee-ko! Kee-ko! Kee-ko!" on each step.

Luke, when asked how "Olympic Day" went at school: "It was OK. We did a relay and we did balance beam but ( big sigh) we did not do the steeplechase."

Ka

I haven't had much to say in the last few days because I've been too exhausted to lift my fingers to type. (Clearly Luke has picked up on this, because he's gotten in the habit of declaring, "I'm the exhausted-est in the whole world.") I'm still in recovery mode from a long trip and a long trip home. Mom and Dad were here for more than a week; I (reluctantly) drove them to the airport this morning. In almost a month of being with them, I never once woke up before Zach. This morning I needed to leave for the airport at 6:30 and wound up needing to wake up Zach to bring him along. A cruel and unusual twist of fate. What are the chances that he'll sleep late ever again?

Mom and Dad swear that Zach is saying words all the time; I'm either not sure or I'm just too skeptical. But one utterance that is consistent and clear is when he says "Ka," for "thank you." (Ka just happens to be an important word in my life, given that it's the only two-letter word in Scrabble that uses the letter "k.") Dave was laughing the other morning because when he got Zach out of the crib, Zach thanked him. "Ka." How polite.

I've got a random collection of pictures here today; one is from Dave's phone, two are from Bill-o. The other pictures are all downstairs on the desktop computer and - fitting in with today's theme - I'm just too darned tired to go and get them. So enjoy this for now.

The Kearnies

Folks, it's award season, which means it's time for the coveted Kearney Street Awards, also known as the Kearnies. Competition was tight this year but we managed to find some winners from among the crowd. Without further ado, the awards are as follows:

Most Likely to Make an Omelet from Leftover Spaghetti and Meatballs: Joe

Most Likely to Injure a Major Joint (special lifetime achievement award): Dad/Papa/Grandpa

Most Dedicated Corn-Eater: Lily

Most Likely to Offer a Free Massage: Sam

Most Likely to Suffer a Cycling Mishap: Eric

Most Likely to Walk Off with Your Car Keys: Luke

Three-Part Award: Best Activity Planner, Most Likely to Gift-Wrap Bed Linens, and Least Likely to be Nicknamed "Beer Can": Mom/Grandma Joan

Most Likely to Stage a Major Theatrical Production: Antonia

Most Enthusiastic Ocean Swimmer: Helena

Most Likely to Provide Water or Bike Rescue Services: Julie

Most Dedicated to Personal Fitness While on Vacation: Sara

Best Tummy Raspberries: Zach

Most Trips Up and Down the Stairs to the Attic: Me

A lavish awards ceremony will be held in California at the conclusion of this vacation. Everyone is invited.